Invitation: Break the cycle of the motherline
For those who were part of the email sharing over the last few months, thank you for having chosen to be part of this exploration together. I hope it was meaningful for you to participate and to share what’s real and true for you.
As you can see through each other’s sharing, we all have ‘stuff’ come up around our mothers and our daughters. I have come to discover that it is the most challenging, and therefore most freeing, relationship of all.
But to discover the power of that, I must be willing to let go of the role of ‘mother’ and ‘daughter’. Because so long as I continue to be her ‘mother’ or her ‘daughter’, I will continue to replicate my reality from the intergenerational and epigenetic binds of that relationship (in other words, process of relating).
Is this easy? Fuck no.
Which is why it is imperative.
In fact, it is so hard that we often numb ourselves to the possibility of freedom. I know that one well.
Whenever the topic would come up for a year I would just … go … limp.
Who? Me?! Yup.
I just couldn’t.
Until I could.
We seem to forget that it’s only time when it’s time.
If it’s time for you to deepen this exploration inside yourself and in the company of one another, I will be facilitating a three-day intensive to explore what it takes to heal the matriarchal lineage so that we free ourselves from the dogma of sisterhood, obligation, and responsibility to other.
This is an invitation to women who have been through at least one intensive with me — meaning that I have not invited anyone who would not be up for the challenge of the exploration.
You all have Quantum TLC as the basis for moving through the world, not your intellect (tempting though, right?!).
This conversation will not be about rehashing trauma — it will be about giving ourselves permission to evolve beyond the limitations of our lineage.
To claim, by choice, what our mothers could give us.
To liberate ourselves by letting go of the fact that she couldn’t.
To release the internalized responsibility of saving her — it was never ours to begin with, just as it was never hers for her mother, and her mother, and so on.
This is an invitation to intentionally integrate the intergenerational bonds that have kept us captive to our mother’s limitations — because we haven’t known how to be with ourselves differently.
It is also an invitation to integrate the bonds that have kept us captive to our daughter’s expectations and our own perceived failures as a mother.
Yes, this applies if you have sons, too.
This is an invitation to notice the survival strategies our mothers modelled to us need not be our destiny.
We are the fortunate ones who know that we are at a new choice-point in the here and now — evolve with intention or hold back because of fear / shame / rage / despair.
This is an invitation to unapologetically claim our birthright to joy, even when she couldn’t or wouldn’t.
I AM is the only one who can give our body permission to be wholly and fully with the massiveness of the weight we have been carrying in our wombs and passed along to our daughters.
The body will only store the information until the I AM that you are shows up and gives the body permission to free itself from holding that information — it is no longer useful.
We no longer have to be loyal to the pain as a way to “respect” the “sacrifices” of our ancestors.
Are we willing to give ourselves permission to be grateful for the life we have — without passing the gift of sacrifice along to the next generation? And the one after that?
Here’s the bottom line — I can choose to love my mother without devoting my life to the matriarchal lineage of self-sacrifice that she subscribed to.
I can unsubscribe from the ideology, not the person.
I can unsubscribe from the story without losing the relationship.
In fact, in choosing to honour my truth by integrating the intergenerational pain, my lineage heals in the past and in the future…
It’s time to let the roles go so we can focus on the process of relating — because that’s what matters.
That’s what shapes the future.
That’s what creates our reality.
Personally, I am ready for this conversation in the format of the deep dive that can only happen during an intensive.
It’s time to reclaim that which is yours — your life. Your future. Your emergence.
Do that by choosing to become the truth of who you are — not in relationship to another.
This is not going to be an easy conversation — it is going to press up against the edges of what you hold as sacred so you discover how to decipher, for yourself, that which is sacred, and that which is scared.
If your body is aching to integrate something alive and present in you as you read this invitation to become more you, you know where to find me.
With such immense RIG for the presence you are in my life,
Stela
