Finding your tribe when pretending becomes unbearable…

You may (or may not) have noticed — life isn’t all love & light. There are moments — many moments — where life is hard. There are moments where no matter what you do, you feel depleted. You feel the weight of the world on your shoulders. You try to move yet you feel stuck.

Yet when you talk about it to the people in your life, no one understands and no one can validate you. It’s as if you’re from different planets.

Maybe … you are.

The black sheep who could never fit in

I don’t know about you, but I know about myself and the women I work with. Every single one of us has always felt like the black sheep of the family, of the community, of the culture. We simply always thought differently and couldn’t quite understand why.

We always tried hard to fit in — we wore the white cloaks and we tried desperately to morph ourselves into a mold that always felt far too constricting to our essence. We knew the container that was always inauthentic, yet we tried anyway. Because the big promise was “a good life”. An unexamined statement that led us to buy into it despite our bodies screaming STOP!

It’s hard living that way — knowing deep within that the truth will set you free, yet feeling trapped in the illusion (the fear, the shame, the rage, the uncertainty, the powerlessness…).

In that place, despite the 423 “friends”, it feels like you are hopelessly, helplessly, utterly alone …

But you are not alone: There is power in finding the ones who see you.

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There’s a special kind of moment that changes everything: When you meet someone — or a group of someones — and for the first time, you realize you’re not crazy, broken, or alone.

In fact, you are supported, nourished and cherished for the truth of who you are (and that is a loaded statement that must be unpacked because … what is the truth, and who are you?!).

A strange thing to unapologetically claim and take ownership of in a bizarre world that values inauthenticity, above all. A world where children are programmed to pretend they don’t see what they see, hear what they hear, or know what they know. A world where children are forced to tolerate the intolerable through modeling that teaches them to confuse violence with love. A world where children’s innocence is devoured in the depleting energy of the adults around them who are profoundly committed to living drowned in illusion.

A world where those children — who are you and I — grow up and repeat the intergenerational and epigenetic patterns out of our awareness.

This 50 second video will illustrate how easy it is to sustain the illusion:

In the most recent Engaging and Awakening Others intensive that follows the introductory process of Decloaking and Living Authentically intensive, a woman awakened to the reality that she has been carrying the information her mother carried about herself since the womb — information that trapped her into an undercurrent of “insignificant” for over 60 years.

Imagine! Daring! — to free youSelf from the intergenerational ‘voice’ that feeds the power of that undercurrent! Daring! — to take ownership of it’s existence in your body. Daring! — to simply choose to let go of the shame of having carried it around for so long.

Freedom is claimed, it is not a given.

Freedom is chosen, it is not permitted.

Yet fear always gets in the way. After all, none of us want to lose the relationships we hold as meaningful in our lives … so, if freedom is a high value to us, we have to find a way to reconcile what we believe is irreconcilable.

The body must do the processing work. That’s what it was designed for! I know it can be hard to fully accept that—especially in a world that has placed the intellect on a pedestal and shamed the body simply for existing. But in an upside-down world where up is down and down is up, maybe it’s time to reevaluate the constructs we’ve been taught to believe are “real.” I was shocked by what I discovered when I finally stopped trying to think my way through and let my body lead—and I know you will be, too.

The world of WEL-Systems is a different world than what you’re used to.

The world we are creating with the women of WEL-Systems® is a world that values individuation above all else. It values evolution, for it’s own sake. It values that each of us take ownership of the full measure of the magnificence of our imperfections, emerge from our cocoons and fly!

This body of wisdom invites you into a potentially strange world — a world that my body was deeply drawn to yet my intellect kept telling me to watch out. You see, I couldn’t deal with one more fucking failure. I couldn’t give myself permission to trust it despite the evidence that it was different.

I couldn’t calibrate for the difference, and I was terrified — I couldn’t go back to using drugs, and I couldn’t lose the love of my life, and I definitely couldn’t go on a nanosecond longer status quo. The kicker? My status quo was exactly what I had been fighting for my whole life — a steady job, an incredible man, and a good middle class life. Yet, it was killing me … and no matter my attempts, no matter the plethora of conventional and unconventional spheres I entered for help, something kept falling short.

Now I understand what that something was—the thing I couldn’t quite calibrate for back then. And it is exactly what makes the difference… it is what connects the dots for so many women who have been through it all, yet couldn’t connect the dots. It is what empowers you to become your own best friend… in the good company of incredible women who want you to have the life you want — created through evolution by intention (not by accident).

Decloaking isn’t just about becoming more authentic with yourself.

— It’s about clearing the static so you can find the people who recognize your essence. The tribe you belong to. By choice, not obligation.

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Long ago now I have been enamored with the notion of allyship over sisterhood (yuck). There’s a reason for that! In allyship, I get to be mySelf. In sisterhood, I am bound to the dogma of the relationship, history, and fear.

Most people carry a romanticized idea of what sisterhood is, so what I’m sharing may not immediately resonate—and that’s okay. I invite you to stay curious. Because for those who know, this distinction is what leads to liberation. What you’re left with otherwise is an undercurrent of discomfort and uncertain where it’s coming from … but you feel it’s sting.

The community we are building is a powerful one — it is one that invites YOU, right here, right now, to choose that which is meaningful to you, and engage! All in the good company of one another …

We don’t do performance around here — we root out the truth. It’s not always pretty, and it is always worth it …

I know not everything I share will land right away—and that’s okay. I invite you to stay with the part of you that’s curious. If something in you feels ready to explore more, I invite you to email me and book a call. No pressure, no expectations—just a space to discover what’s moving inside you. In the meantime, you’re welcome to download the few free Decloaking audio files to support your journey. Trust takes time. Trust yourself when it is time. My invitation remains open.