Most People Would Rather Die Than Change

Empowered LivingDecloaking and Living ...

Jul 7

Manifesting a meaningful life isn’t easy.

In fact, it takes effort. It takes so much effort, most people would rather die than change. So the cookie crumbles.

But not my cookie. And not the cookie of the women I work with. Because we say so!

This is not about magical thinking.
Perhaps when people hear “because I say so” they think it’s as simple as wishing it so be so. But we all know, it’s not as easy as that!

This is about the process.
It’s all about the process of how we choose to live — from cultural conditioning that we think is real, or from that voice deep within that whispers?

Most of us — ok, all of us — have not been taught to consider the process we live our lives from. We think there’s something wrong with us, when the truth of it is that we have internalized certain habits that are held in place from a belief and value system that tells us who we should be.

That’s what makes the difference — our daily habits held in place by our unquestioned and unexamined belief systems that sustain our reality in place.

We think it’s fixed, but it’s categorically not.

And when people hear that, it often pisses them off.
They really really want things to change, but how many are willing to do what it takes to make that possible?!

A few people are…

This is what readiness looks like.

In a one-on-one call with a new client recently she framed it so beautifully — her desire for evolution outweighs her fear and avoidance.

I loved that! I thought it was such a great way to describe the readiness factor of working with me or the other CODE Model™ Coaches within the WEL-Systems® paradigm.

What I have come to discover over time and persistent insistence of living as the godForce that I AM, is that everything I create is a brilliant manifestation, an invitation for me to notice what is important to me, and then choose it.

The hardest part is choosing it.

Perhaps that later part is the hardest part … so many of us know what we want, but we pretend that we don’t so that we don’t stand out from the crowd. Or so we don’t leave people ‘behind’. Or so we don’t have to take action (because let’s face it, taking action is hard work).

It really isn't easy to live a meaningful life — everything out there is determined to ensure we don't. It's designed to pull us into the default time and again.

So the question isn’t "when will it stop?" The question is, "how do I navigate **that fact of life?"**

None of us is spared that pull, all of us make choices through it.

You can’t evolve without individuation.
It has become abundantly clear to me in my years of working with women that that without individuation from our family system, we cannot evolve beyond the limitations of that system. We will always feel obligated, in some way, to the needs of the others. That’s The Great Sacrifice that gets passed down intergenerationally, especially between mothers and daughters.

Leaving the familiar nest is effort-full. It takes risk. No one will be able to guarantee we won't fall. No one will be able to guarantee they will catch us if we do. No one will give us more permission than they have given themselves.

It’s not because they don’t love us or care for us — it’s simply mathematics — you can’t give what you haven’t got.

Period.

So what do we do with that? We choose anyway.

Each of us craving the a meaningful life will have to choose to create it ourselves. Intentionally. Unwaveringly. Determined to create an outcome called a meaningful life because it matters to me.

That demands trust — in Self and in the universe conspiring to give you what you want, because what you want is congruent.

This isn’t theoretical for me. It’s practical.
As you all likely know, I've been navigating this for a few years in my own life. And I choose to continue to create my meaningful life, because it matters, to me. I cannot make another's shitty life better, but if I focus on their life, hoping it will change, I will always neglect and abandon my life. I am unwilling to do that. Time and again. Pressure to conform after pressure to conform.

I choose my life. The only place of power.

I know what it takes, and it is fucking relentless.

So here’s the invitation:
If you want a meaningful life, you have to make some tough choices (and they will be tough, no two ways about that).

Individuation is no small feat. Yet it’s what is required to create a meaningful life.

Like I wrote to a client this morning …

“Part of the trick now is to discover how to be yourSelf, with grace. Not excluding someone because you're mad, but including them in the process, with RIG. What does that mean, to you? Have you explored this, for yourself? We've talked a lot about love vs RIG, expectation vs allyship, martyrdom vs individuation. I think it's time to put those to practice, every.single.moment of your life. Might as well ... you have your life to gain, and nothing meaningful to lose.”

Ready to dive deeper in conversation?

I’m Stela Murrizi, and I work with women who feel too much, think too deeply, and carry a silent ache that something’s missing.

Here, we don’t shy away from that ache—we turn toward it.

Through the body-led, science-backed process taught by the WEL-Systems Institute that’s been evolving for over 30 years, we explore the places culture taught you to avoid—so you can remember who you are and reclaim how you live.

Let's talk

Not ready to talk?

A free resource: Women Awakening audio series

If you’ve spent years taking care of everyone else, it can be hard to know how to turn that attention inward — or even where to begin.

The Women Awakening audio series offers you that starting point.

A classic from the WEL-Systems® body of work, this 6-part audio experience is an invitation to see yourself differently. To step into a process that reconnects you with the truth of your own experience, through the intelligence of your body.