You Cannot Have My Children.

May 23

On becoming the living boundary between a collapsing culture and my son’s mind…

My son’s mind (as a synonym of well-being) is THE single most important thing to me in my entire life. Undoubtedly, his state of being is determined by his state of mind. So when it comes to the quality of what I invite and allow to penetrate his mind, I am both definite and definitive. Unapologetically unwavering and unrelenting.

You cannot have my children.

Louise LeBrun’s voice often comes to mind, you cannot have my children. That is a boundary that is existential, cellular, and non-negotiable. After all, until my son is old enough, and especially from 0-7, I am the membrane between the world and my son’s mind. Who I choose to become in the face of what the world is seeking to penetrate him with is the only thing that makes a difference.

Not how many books I read or how smart I am. Not how “appropriate” I am or how well I follow the rules. Not how compliant I am to the invasive narrative of the status quo.

But how real I am inside myself, and out loud. How authentic I am willing to be in the presence of my own internal challenges. How willing I am to make choices in alignment with my inner cues. How willing I am to stay Present to mySelf in those moments where shame and fear present and I am left second-guessing my choices.

All I know is, without Quantum TLC™ in my life, I’d be living a festering sore — and that would become the template for a partner that my son would normalize. Not for me, thanks.

As he’s leaving to go to forest school with his little backpack, he turns around and gives me prized possession after prized possession — hugs and kisses and tells me he loves me as big as the universe and all the numbers combined. He gives me shinny rocks and beautiful feathers to keep on my desk as a reminder of his love. He gives me his little toys to play with. He tells me to have the most beautiful day, and my heart sings with utmost joy.

I cannot imagine inviting into my life a single thing that court hurt him in any way.

I cannot imagine a more beautiful invitation to make aligned choices with my authentic yet perpetually unfolding truth than that.

I cannot imagine a wold where I would capitulate his innocence, mind and well-being for the comfort of appeasing my culturally conditioned discomfort.

I also cannot imagine a world where my evolution did not take priority, for our collective well-being.

Taking ownership of our mind, body and spirit is not a luxury — it’s existential.

It is pivotal to being both willing and able to navigate a culture in collapse. It’s not what your child intellectually knows that will make the difference in the world we are collectively creating — it’s their ability to differentiate truth from bulshit.

How can they do that if you don’t model to them how to live in Truth?

Yes, it’s fucking hard work. It is categorically, single-handedly, THE most difficult way to live. Why? Because it demands you wake up! You show up! You engage. You make difficult-but-aligned choices. It means you give up victimhood and seeking to be saved. It means you take response-ability for your choices, and therefore the quality of your life. It means you stop pretending and start honouring the soft whisper of a voice of truth that only you can hear.

That’s how you know if what you’re create is authentic and therefore aligned with your truth, not your cultural conditioning.

If you’re in story mode about blah blah blah, you’re lost to yourself.

If you’re in should mode, you’re lost to truth.

If you’re in protection mode, you’re closed off to your potential.

At the end of the day, it’s all a matter of choice. Not choice as a judgement, choice-point down, but choice as an engagement of potential, choice-point UP.

This is why the Decloaking exploration is imperative. If we don’t understand choice beyond the internalized limitations of our cultural conditioning, we are trapped in an internal dialogue of fault and blame, judging ourselves relentlessly for not being able to make a different choice. If you find yourself in that state but are looking for an alternative that works, I’m here to help you discover what you’re searching for.

Message Stela Murrizi

Do you ever wonder why alternative ways of living are so hard?

There is no structure to follow, no system to replicate. You have to create that which you are looking to see manifest — and that’s hard work.

My husband and I are clear that the conventional path is not for our son. The more I dug into cultural systems the more I discovered that they do not have our best interest at heart. They have their own agendas, and they do not align with ours.

Our modern education system, for example, has it’s roots in the Prussian military model intended to create obedient soldiers, not intellectual minds. A quick search on the topic will show you what you need to know. And if you want to go deeper, start here and if that peaks your curiosity, read this.

I’m not here to convince you of the merits of lack thereof of the schooling system — I am indifferent to what you choose. I am here, however, to let you know that if it’s not working for you, it’s not you — it’s them. The system is not designed to honour your child’s unique and essential nature — it’s designed to crush that innate and intuitive intelligence and turn it into terror (i.e. anxiety), rage (i.e. ADHD), and ultimately: compliance (i.e. drugs).

Boxes. Cubicles. Squares. Do as you’re told and you’ll be rewarded. Maybe, maybe not. But our collective children are begging and screaming for help, but we’re not listening. Because to listen to them would demand we make different choices.

And to make different choices would demand we create a path rather than follow the path someone else laid out for us. The current of the status quo effortlessly pulls you in — there’s nothing for you to resist, there’s nothing for you to do but follow. But command, control and compliance are not for my son.

So, how else might I choose to structure his education?

The truth is, I don’t yet know.

He’s at this critical age where all his friends are going to school and he is continuing on to forest school. Will the kids next year be too young? Will he have friends? Will he be bored? I don’t know; and I know that for now, that’s the right place for him to be.

I frequently think about what’s next for us because I am not going to homeschool him in the traditional sense. I do not worry about his education for a nanosecond — I do, however, require that he spends some time a week in a safe space where his individuality is honoured and cherished and celebrated. A place where the adults around him are kind and not constantly overwhelmed, and his peers are curious and engaged. Curiosity, by the way, is the opposite of compliance…

Homeschooling in the conventional sense does not work for our family. So what will it be? Alternative schooling demands we create an alternative path that may or may not yet exist. It demands we engage in different groups and ask different questions and connect with different people. It demands we engage differently and find the resources we need to make our vision a reality. For now, I stay open, receptive, and actively engaged in the creation of my son’s meaningful life.

…while creating my meaningful life.

Perhaps you’ve noticed — mothering is hard work. And mothering well (as per how you define that inside yourself), is THE hardest work of all. For me, creating a reality where my whole family thrives is critical. That demands a deepening intimacy with mySelf so that I know how to make choices that align with my vision (and yes that means I have to know what that is to begin with — it’s a perpetually unfolding process, like our identity).

So I focus on process and context over content because that IS what makes the difference in the quality of my mind.

What makes the difference for you?

This is not just about parenting, but about sovereignty, legacy, and the creation of a new way to live. Critical in our times, don’t you think?

Invitations Inward

Are you modeling to your child that which you wish to model — not in theory, but in how you live?

If you were to come up with a short paragraph or visual in your mind about who you are teaching them to become, what would that look like?

Is that what you want for them?

If not, who would you have to become to shift their lifelong trajectory?

What are you the living boundary for? In other words, what are you protecting? The lie or the truth?

What’s the next brave choice you already know it’s time to make?

What would it take tor you to be willing to engage it …?

Feel free to engage by sending me what you discover about yourself through asking these questions — I welcome your revelations.

Ready to dive deeper in conversation?

I’m Stela Murrizi, and I work with women who feel too much, think too deeply, and carry a silent ache that something’s missing.

Here, we don’t shy away from that ache—we turn toward it.

Through the body-led, science-backed process taught by the WEL-Systems Institute that’s been evolving for over 30 years, we explore the places culture taught you to avoid—so you can remember who you are and reclaim how you live.

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